Knowing how to start a conversation with basically any woman that you see is one of the biggest and most important skills you need to have when you hit the dating and hookup scene. It can also be one of the most difficult skills to acquire, but you can develop your conversational skills with enough practice and effort. The last thing you want to happen is that you meet the perfect girl only to wind up having no idea what to talk about. Nothing can kill your chances faster than attempting to talk to her about the weather, so you have to think carefully about what you want to talk about.
Even before you go about learning how to find and write online personals, knowing what makes a good conversation starter will help you attract more women. However, it will also make you more confident with women in general, something that you will doubtless appreciate once you start to meet more and more women you want to hook up with or date.
Avoid Pickup Lines at All Costs
Pickup lines may seem like a great idea, but the truth is that they rarely work if they are all you have to go off of. Approaching a woman with some cheesy pickup line you pulled off of the Internet is not going to make her want to date you. More often than not, she’s heard it all before and you will be a vague annoyance at best. The point of a conversation starter is to get a conversation started, but even on poor quality dating sites like eHarmony.co.uk, pickup lines end a conversation more often than they get one going. If you want to see some legit online personals, then visit a top online dating site. Avoid a hookup sex site at all cost.
Your first attempt a conversation should never be a compliment or pickup line. You should lead the conversation with something interesting for the two of you to talk about, and believe it or not, most women don’t really want to have an entire conversation about how their ass is out of this world. Leave the book of pickup lines tucked away where it belongs – out of sight – and move on to find out how you can do better.
Make a Joke, but Never at Her Expense
Humor is a great way to get women interested in talking to you. Making her laugh will make her happy, and the happier a woman feels, the more open she is to being chatted up. However, not all jokes are made equal. Busting out the wrong joke can ruin your chances with a woman and leave you sitting at the computer trying to find out how to get started with online personal ads after being rejected. Remember that a joke should be lighthearted and funny, so leave your dark humor at home unless you’re very confident in your comedic ability. Even then, remember that most everybody isn’t as funny as they think they are.
Telling her an old classic joke may be enough to make her smile, but it won’t be enough to keep the conversation going. Follow the joke up quickly with another conversation starter so that you can keep it flowing without losing her interest.
Ask Her a Unique Question
Whether you’re meeting up with women in person or on online dating websites – hopefully a good one, and not a trashy site like eHarmony.co.uk – you should start a conversation with something she doesn’t expect to hear. Asking her a unique question will make her pay more attention to you because it will get her thoughts churning as she tries to come up with an answer. Consider asking her what her favorite band is right upfront instead of waiting for later in the conversation. She may be caught off guard by the speed by which you’re trying to learn about her, but this is rarely a bad thing.
The unique questions you choose to ask her should never be offensive or derogatory, and again, avoid comparing her to other women. Ask her about her job or her life, or whether she prefers cats or dogs. This can be unexpected and cute enough to really grab her attention. You should be prepared to have to defend why you’re asking her such questions, however, so always have a good answer ready if she decides to interrogate you right back.
Using Your Surroundings to Start a Conversation
This can be more difficult if you are meeting women online after a night of heavy research on how to find online personals, but if you are meeting women in person then this can be the perfect solution to all your conversational worries. Whether you are in a bar, club, or any other location, try to draw upon your surroundings when it comes to searching for a good conversational topic. This does not mean that it’s okay to talk about the weather – it isn’t – but that you should try to engage her in conversation about something that she can relate to in the moment.
Mention the location you’re in and ask her if she’s a frequent patron, or tell her about a nicer place you know in another neighborhood. Comment on the bar’s dcor or talk to her about the music that’s currently playing. Whatever it is, make sure that it has something to do with where the two of you are, and make sure it’s unique enough to really catch her attention. She’s likely not used to being engaged in actual conversation, so you should be fine if you can think of something interesting to talk about.
This tactic may not work as well if you’re not particularly charismatic, but if you try hard enough, you may be able to pull it off. Instead of asking her a question about something simple, consider busting out the philosophical questions that everyone wants to know the answers to. Ask her about her personal beliefs on any variety of subjects and see what she says. This is basically a more advanced version of asking her interesting and unique questions. Try to keep the questions inoffensive, but feel free to get as controversial as you want. Ask her about what she wants out of life or what she sees herself doing in ten years. She may not be interested in discussing her life goals with a complete stranger, or she may find it’s a good opportunity to open up and discuss things with someone in a casual way. The more unique your question is and the more uncommon it is, the more likely she will be to pay special attention to you and what yo want to talk about, but make sure to keep it interesting.
One thing you need to keep in mind if you want to bust out the deep questions is that this can easily backfire on you for any number of reasons. Bringing up political or religious views is almost never a good idea, and it could very well wind up being the death of your conversation. However, with enough charisma and charm to back you up, you can probably talk to her about anything and still interest her enough to keep her from walking away. Just be aware of her reactions to what you say so you know where to steer the conversation.